Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Right now my cat is licking my head. Its kind of comforting in a way. She actually pays attention to me. Whatever. Ive been in a bad way for the past two weeks and it seems to have subsided for the moment. Ill take what I can. Bi polar is tough to deal with up down up down up down. The ups seem to be great but usually dont last long. The downs feel like they will never end and I dont have a reason to be here. Even for my family. Things dont matter. Ill take today for what it is and I made it through with a positive attitude. Not very often. It is what it is and thats what I can deal with today.
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You hit it perfectly. It has taken years but now I can identify the swings better. I go through the mania where I can solve all the problems in the world, the highs are so high. Next comes the low and it is unbearable. My therapist has made a point to time the cycles. Great so now I know how many days I have to look forward to. Yippee. Right now I am agonizing over the pain this puts my family through. I can never make up for the pain I have caused and that just kills me.
ReplyDeleteGlad the cat is bringing some comfort. Take care.