May 2

     Well Ive been doin good for a while.  Since I started this Abilify again things have been real good.  Im fighting  with another thing.  Im absolutly obsessing over things.  Not that im losing it but I cant get it out of my head.  There is a phone that I want. When I ask my wife if its ok if I can get it she tells me that I should wait till Fathers Day.  I can appreciate that but when I want something that bad, I cant get it out of my head.  Im sweating and shaking.  This is rediculus.  I know that this is another side effect of depression and BP but DAMNIT.  Its not her fault its mine, I think.  Im tired of the phone that I have and I want to upgrade to something that is more current and is up to date.  FUCK this is killng me.  I wish this kind of shit didnt happen to me and noone else.  The answer could be to get messed up but I know that is not the answer.  Those days are over.  I dont know what to do???????????